Pressing The Iowa Horse Flesh
Okay, so I missed the Iowa Caucus call last night, having suggested Rick Santorum would take away Mitt Romney’s Iowa Caucus cake.
However, I was only 8 votes off — pretty good for an amateur political prognosticator.
Our Texas governor, Rick Perry, received 10.3% of the vote, and declared he’d be going home to Texas to regroup.
Translation: He’s exiting from the grand, national political rodeo.
But I give him credit for giving it a go. As it is sometimes said in Texas, if you haven’t fallen off a horse, then you haven’t been riding long enough.
Just next time, please go back and take a debate class first. Whether you liked it or not, you did represent our entire state.
It’s not so clear whether Newt Gingrich fell off his horse, or the horse had an epistemological epiphany and concluded Mr. Gingrich was no longer a good caretaker of his backside, but in the caucuses, he (Gingrich, not said horse) distinctly came in fourth place with 13.3% of the vote.
Michele Bachmann (who apparently already canceled her ticket to South Carolina) and Jon Huntsman were at 5% and 1%, respectively.
Which leads us back to the top three.
Mitt Romney demonstrated he could ride the horse in Iowa, manage to even stay on the horse, right there at his steady, level and never-breached 25% (24.6% to be precise).
Rick Santorum was at 24.5%, again, separated by Romney only by 8 votes and a few hundred million dollars, clearly proving surges can work to your advantage in both wars and political campaigns.
Timing really is everything.
Ron Paul also made a surprisingly strong showing, demonstrating that even when you’re tilting at windmills, it’s your horse which keeps you grounded…until it doesn’t.
It will be interesting to see whether he and his isolationist horse can go it alone all the way to Portsmouth.
What were the lessons I learned from all this?
For me, it was all about good TV. What would the Iowa Caucuses be without an endless litany of talking heads overanalyzing it all to death and forcing me to the fridge for another beer!
Okay, well, for one, I learned that CNN had some really cool virtual reality graphics that demonstrated the key difference between their early voter poll and late voter poll — which was that one was early, and the other was late!
And yes, they even had a cute little Anderson Cooper avatar, which I hope to not see online anytime soon.
MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow demonstrated her prowess beyond anchoring a nightly TV show, but also that she could manage the chaos of an uncertain election night whose returns seemed to take anywhere from 3 minutes to 4 hours to count the ballots.
C’mon, give the poor woman a hand, that’s a lot of extra innings time to fill! (If you’ve ever been on camera, you know what that long, dead silence is like? Well of course you do, that’s why you’re no longer on camera!)
And I learned that no matter how unsurprising American presidential politics might be after a year of Republican debates held every other minute…well, you just never know what’s gonna happen until the ballots are in and counted.
So, now, it’s onward and upward to New Hampshire.
That’s a whole six days away, of course.
In politics, that’s a lifetime. In horse time, I’m not quite sure how long it is, but it’s probably longer than they have the patience for.
Me, I have all the patience in the world.
But apparently not at Yahoo, which in other news finally named a new CEO this AM, the current president of eBay’s PayPal division, Scott Thompson.
For those who have a short memory, Yahoo’s last CEO, Carol Bartz, was let go in September of last year. Maybe Ms. Bartz should jump into the race for the Republican presidential nomination!