Ruminations on tech, the digital media, and some golf thrown in for good measure.

Archive for January 5th, 2011

3D TPS Reports

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The Consumer Electronics Show officially kicked off in Vegas today.

Once again, if it happens in Vegas, at least for CES, it doesn’t stay there.

Which I guess is a good thing, although I’d have liked to have been there in person for once, and maybe even have done a little “Hangover” sightseeing amongst all the collective geekdom.

So far, it seems like CES this year around is all tablets, all the time, although I am absolutely digging these newfangled XpandD 3D glasses.

Though I don’t have a 3D TV yet (that’s another big focus emerging at the show, with ESPN 3D expected to start programming 24 hours of 3D content soon -– professional ping pong, anyone??!), I think it’s fashionable to start thinking now about your fashionista 3D lenses.

Kate Spade, are you listening?

XpanD’s new 3D shades allows for Bluetooth and/or USB connectivity to iPhone or Android devices, and according to its press release, “can be optimized to address the fact that every human’s eyes and facial structure are unique and that each user’s viewing requirements and environment are different.”

On second thought, I spent most of my life trying to figure out how NOT to wear glasses, until Michael Dell’s brother came along and saved me with his custom LASIK surgery.

Can’t they just come up with some 3D surgery that I can turn off and on at will for the 3D effect?

Yeah, kind of like former U.S. Vice President Cheney can do with his new artificial heart pump, which the former Veep had installed last summer.

The heart pump is known as a “ventricular assist device,” and pushes the blood continuously throughout the body in place of a normal heartbeat, according to CBS’s “The Early Show” Web site.

So, basically, they’re telling us Dick Cheney has no pulse?

And that’s supposed to be news??

Of course, Cheney might could see his near-heart beat with a set of those newfangled 3D glasses, although I’m thinking the ex Veep might forego the Kate Spade varieties for something more along the lines from Wrangler.

Well, no matter how many footballs YOU see coming at you on the big screen, know that Hollywood, along with the sports books in Vegas, are betting that we’ll all start moving into the third dimension and soon.

Me, I just worry about when the day comes that we all have to start consuming PowerPoint in 3D – seems to me there’s nothing more boring than sleeping through bullet points firmly ensconced in multiple dimensions.

Think “Office Space” meets “Inception.”

Life’s too short for 3D flare, I don’t care how many dream levels down you might be, and even Leonardo DeCaprio and Ellen Page couldn’t save us all from endless PowerPoints with psychedelic animations that said absolutely nothing.

Oh, and that overdue TPS report?

Don’t forget the cover sheet…you’re just dreaming you already turned it in.

Written by turbotodd

January 5, 2011 at 6:14 pm

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