Flying Pigs, Hotel Room Tigers, And IOD 2010 Useful Resources

I was joking this morning that there are little flying pigs flying across the Austin skyline this morning.

Cute little flying ballerina pigs, with tu-tu’s and all, flying right in front of the Austin downtown skyline.

I say that because of the situation in the American league of Major League Baseball: It’s mid-October, and the Texas Rangers, who have never made it past a division series, much less showed up at a league championship series, are 3-1 against the New York Yankees, the best baseball team that money can buy (you heard me), two of the last three games of which were won in the Bronx.

Mind you, any other time I’d be rooting for the Yankees.  But not this year.  Not when the Texas Rangers actually got their act together and took it on the road.

Game 5 is today, in the Bronx, and it’s the Yankees last chance.  I wish them well.

I also wish I had my act together for the Information on Demand event starting this Sunday in Vegas.

I’ve been studying up, reading through the conference materials and briefing books, as I have the bandwidth. But quite frankly, it’s a whole bunch of stuff to get one’s head around, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

So, I share your pain, but help is on its way.  In this blog post, I’m going to attempt to point you to a few tidbits I’ve found very helpful thus far, and expect to prove helpful on the ground in Vegas.

1. The IBM Information on Demand 2010 Conference Website — All roads lead back to this Rome.  Or all roads leave Vegas and go to Rome.  Or something like that.  Anyway, start here, especially if you’re lost.
2. The IBM Information on Demand 2010 Smart Site — This is the Website where you keep your schedule, and, hopefully, your sanity.  For registered attendees only. (Mobile version here).
3. The IBM Information on Demand 2010 Conference Guide — Look, even Columbus had a map.  Well, for at least some of the way.  If you’re a man like me, this guide will take you are.   Not as far as Columbus, but at least through most of the Mandalay Bay.
4. The IBM Information on Demand 2010 Agenda — Everybody needs an executive summary.  Life’s too short.  In fact, what are you doing reading this blog post, anyways? Okay, if you must. This is a top line “Agenda at a Glance.”  Be brief.
5. The IBM Information on Demand Social Media Aggregator — This is a shameless plug to make sure you’re monitoring the firehose of information I’ll be contributing to the event. Me and a few thousand of my closest friends and colleagues. Consider this to be the downright virtual soul of IOD 2010.  You can’t be there in person?  Be there in spirit!  It’s all about your information management, soul, baby!  It’s Vegas. Get in the groove!…Okay, wait a minute, now, who took my velvet Elvis painting?!?
6. IBM Information on Demand 2010 Pre-Conference Classes — My momma always told me, education is the one thing that nobody can ever take away from you.  Of course, that didn’t stop a bunch of punks from stealing my Ho-Ho’s on the playground during recess, but I digress.  These Sunday classes are intended to help you get your IOD experience off to a vigorous start and to keep you out of the casinos. Well, not completely out, because you have to sleep somewhere.  But…oh, go on, just get to class before I take your lunch money.
7. IBM Information on Demand 2010 Networking — It’s okay, you don’t have to make any excuses.  We know this is really why you take a week off work, fly a couple thousand miles, and stay locked inside the Mandalay Bay biosphere day and night: To hang out and meet info management professionals from around the globe and to talk ACID (the DBMS rules, not the stuff from “Fear and Loathing”). For the Cognos-scenti, you have your own slate of networking, but be sure to mix it up with everybody — that’s why we invited you!

Okay.  Well, that’s about as comprehensive a list as I can find for now.  For “Lost and Found,” you’re entirely on your own.

I will say that this year, I, personally, plan on taking all those PDF files (the conference guide, the Expo guide, etc.), dropping them into Dropbox, and having them as resources available via the GoodReader app on my iPad.

So long as my iPad battery stays alive, I’ll never get lost at the Mandalay Bay again!

Finally…and I really don’t want to have to say this one twice…it is NOT NOT NOT appropriate to drug the tiger with “roofies” should you find said tiger in your bathroom after a long night of information management professional networking.

I know it’s tempting, but tigers get hangovers, too, and Mike Tyson ought not be anywhere near the scene, in any case.

Instead, shut the bathroom door, call security, and wait for the animal management professionals to arrive.

You’re an information management professional.  They do tigers, you do databases.

(If you have NO clue whatsoever to what that list bit was in reference to, you need to stop going to conferences (well, all but the IBM ones) and start having more cultural experiences, starting with the movies.

Four days and counting…